Say It With Flowers

Say it with flowers
Image | Emily Wang, Pixabay

When it comes to expressing love, and the emotions associated with it, sometimes words just simply aren’t enough. From a simple hand-tied posy of wildflowers to an explosion of exotic blooms; a dozen red roses to a corsage or boutonniere on Prom night—flowers can speak so eloquently on our behalf.

I love you. We’re bursting with pride. Thank you for being my friend. I’m here for you in your loss. Words that can be so difficult to say in person may be conveyed through the gift of flowers.

The Gift of Flowers
Image | Secret Garden, Pexels

The language of flowers is nothing new. Simple posies—or tussie-mussies as they were known from the Victorian Era–have been gifted since at least medieval times. Then they were fixed around the head or carried in a silver posy-holder worn at the waist or secured by a brooch. Also known as nosegays since the 1400s, the word “gay” means ornament, so the gift was literally a decoration that appeals to the nose. So evocative are flowers that my guess is by now you are imagining yourself with your nose deep in a soft, fragrant bunch of your favourites; their beautiful scent releasing endorphins, transporting you to another time and another place.

Floriography is a means of cryptic communication, through the choice or arrangement of flowers, that has been practised by traditional cultures across the world way back into the mists of time. It was the Victorians, however, who elevated this language of flowers to a whole new level when they created floral symbolism to send coded messages to the recipient. This allowed the sender to express emotions that couldn’t be spoken aloud in refined Victorian society. A silent dialogue where flowers handed over by the right hand meant “yes” while those delivered by the left meant “no”!

He loves me, he loves me not
Image | Cottonbro, Pexels

The first dictionary of floriography, Le Language des Fleurs, is credited to Louise Contambert, writing under the pen name Madame Charlotte de la Tour, who in 1819 created a list of flowers with their associated symbolic definitions. The idea of expressing sentiments through flora caught on and quickly spread through Victorian society to the United States, generating hundreds of editions of floriography books that stimulated the publishing industry of the 19th century. One of the most comprehensive volumes ran to 522 pages!

Out of this library of floral dictionaries emerged a consensus of meaning for some of our most common blooms, usually derived from the colour, appearance, or behaviour of the flower. 

Roses in particular hold a wealth of meaning with the red rose being the ubiquitous expression of true love, while the pink rose expresses a blushing romance, and the yellow rose symbolises true friendship. The ballad “A Red, Red Rose” declares a love that is so deep and everlasting that it will survive until all the seas dry up. Red is the symbol of passion, so to repeat it twice indicates a hearty ration of passion in the romance—it was written by Robbie Burns after all!

A red, red rose
Image | Pixabay, Pexels

The number of flowers you gift can also invest a deeper level of meaning – for example, a single red rose denotes “Love at First Sight,” while a dozen red roses says “Be Mine.” If your floral gift is accepted and held at heart level, well done! You’re in with a chance! If a lady fixes it close to her cleavage it says—let’s just be friends, while if held downwards—better move along!

Some flowers derive their meaning from myth and legend, perhaps the best known being the Narcissus, or daffodil, which symbolises rebirth and new beginnings. The first perennial to bloom in Spring, some believe that it bends its head to gaze into the water at its feet like the egotistical Narcissus after whom it’s named. Sweet William is said to take its name from a mythical, noble, lovelorn hero and is one of the few flowers to symbolise masculinity. In Victorian times it came to symbolise gallantry, and Catherine Middleton is said to have included Sweet Williams in her bridal bouquet as a tribute to her husband-to-be, Prince William.

Sweet William
Image | Anete Lusina, Pexels

Some flowers derive their symbolism from their scent. Lavender is well known for its soothing, relaxing properties in aromatherapy, so it should come as no surprise that it’s associated with purity, silence, devotion, serenity. While the sweet, exotic scent of Jasmine symbolises beauty, sensuality and love.

For others, it’s their behaviour. For example, Mimosa is associated with chastity because the sensitive leaves of the plant close at night or when touched.

So, here’s a word of advice: if you have been one of the many, oblivious to the language of love, perhaps it’s time for a rethink. If you’ve offended your dear one and want to get back into good graces, instead of that tired bouquet, plucked in haste from a bucket in the forecourt of your local petrol station, choose a beautiful, scented bouquet of white tulip and purple hyacinth. 

White tulips and purple hyacinths
Image | Leah Kelley, Pexels

Both flowers symbolise forgiveness and regret. Hyacinth gets its name from the Spartan youth, Hyakinthos, a favourite of the Greek god Apollo who accidentally killed him when they were throwing discus together. The flower that grew from his blood was called hyacinth and conveys the message, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

Just right for when you can’t get the words out.