New Beginnings, the Italian Way
Lisa Anderson | Lisa’s Dolce Italia
Wedding invitation for Cristina and Francesco
Image | Lisa Anderson
One of our neighbours’ son got married in 2016, so I asked if I could write about “going to the chapel,” aka, the wedding, and the answer was “Si!” Weddings are a fun and interesting way to get a glimpse into any culture. This wedding was a great mix of old traditions and modern trends.
Francesco was about 10 years old when I moved in next door with Mauro in 1999, so I have watched him grow up. When you are a kid yourself, you don't really notice how other kids are changing around you, or at least I didn't. I didn’t really consider myself a grown up until I moved in with Mauro at the age of 29 anyway. I know this isn't really true, but I didn't have friends with kids yet and I was never into babysitting, so Francesco was one of the first kids I remember being aware of as he grew up.
Nearly a year before the big event, in a conversation between our terraces, Francesco's parents shared the happy news and told us that the date had been set. They know I am usually on tour at this time of year so this way I could schedule time off. The actual invitation was delivered in mid-June, and a few days later, we went and bought their gift, even though the wedding wasn't until September. Buying early gives us the pick of the list and I like giving people things that they will use regularly rather than pieces that get pulled out once or twice a year, if ever. So now you know that the Italians create gift registries just like we do. They often register with a travel agency to pay for the honeymoon too. A lot of couples nowadays live together before getting married, but not in this case. Francesco and Cristina have been building their home for the last year and have always lived at home with their own parents. It is still quite common that kids live at home with their parents well into their late twenties here if they are not yet married.
The Big Day finally came, and for the parents of the groom, it started early. I drove away around 7:30 am and Francesco’s dad Valentino was walking in through his back gate. I suspect he was checking out this mess in front of his house.
Francesco’s friends worked hard into the night. Wedding pranks!
Image | Lisa Anderson
There were pictures of the happy couple pasted all over the bride’s and groom’s hometowns. Directly across from his home was a giant sign that said " Ripensaci Frenky" (essentially, “You can still change your mind Frenky!”) Another sign said "Salvezza " (Salvation) with arrows pointing in the opposite direction from the church. The wedding was held in Cristina's village, and the plastic wrap with orange writing on it was used liberally all the way to the church, at every intersection the groom would take to get there. All in good fun!
The photographer arrived at noon, but the bride and groom wouldn’t see each other before the wedding. All the couple's pictures would be taken between the ceremony and the reception.
By 2:00 pm the festivities had begun. People started to gather at the respective party’s house for an aperitivo, sweet and savoury pastries to nibble on and some Prosecco (sparkling Italian wine), soft drinks and juice in this case. At 3:30 everyone piled into their cars and drove to the church. We grabbed a fiocco (bow) for our car's antenna and joined the procession to the church. There was a lot of horn honking along the way, so the world would know it’s a wedding party.
The wedding mass was scheduled for 4:00 pm, but in true Italian fashion it started 15 minutes late and lasted about an hour. Aside from the two witnesses (testimone), there were no bridesmaids or groomsmen, but the church was overflowing, standing room only! Close friends often slip into the back of the church, so they can leave during the ceremony for the post wedding fun outside. In this case, they had prepared a giant paper heart for the happy couple to break on their way out into the world. A heart with the couple's initials is drawn with rice just outside the church, and an improvised table with balloons and Prosecco awaited their first toast as a married couple. After the ceremony finished the couple posed with family and friends in front of the church and the photographer brought a drone to take aerial photos as well.
Flash forward a few hours. The reception didn't officially begin until the newlyweds arrived around 8:15 in the evening, but even without them, the party was in full swing an hour earlier. There was an antipasto buffet served in the restaurant garden which kept our hunger at bay. Thinly sliced salami and pancetta, focaccia and grissini (breadsticks), cheese and fruit and lots of tasty fried titbits among other things. It could be dinner...but it wasn't!
Around 9:00 pm ,we made our way into the dining room and the real eating began. Tables were assigned (named after famous musicians) for the roughly 300 guests and we found our places. We were sitting with all of our neighbours at the table called Paganini. Sitting on every plate was a Guatemalan bag with a note. The couple had decided not to give a traditional bomboniere, a gift for all who attend, often hand delivered to friends and family either before or after the wedding. The gift is always accompanied by five bonbons - small candies, often Jordan almonds or coated chocolate candies that look like Jordan almonds. Instead of a bauble, Francesco and Cristina decided to spend their wedding favors money on a charity that educates children in Guatemala. Perfect!
We finished eating our dinner but by 11:30, we still hadn't moved onto la Torta Nuziale (wedding cake) when we were called out into the garden for a surprise. The father of the bride had ordered up a fireworks display to add to the celebration. It was a complete surprise for everyone, including the newlyweds and an elaborate display of rockets had us all oohing and ahhing in the garden. Once it was done, we moved onto dessert accompanied by bubbly wine, sweet Moscato d' Asti and Berlucchi 61 Franciacorta Brut.
The menu: the wines are listed bottom left and the food takes center stage on the right.
Image | Lisa Anderson
At Italian weddings, it is traditional to play some games. The guests were given a sheet of paper with five categories (1. if you have blue eyes, 2 if you wear glasses, 3 if you are single, etc...) and if you fit into one of the categories when the DJ called your number you would stand up. The bride and groom then had to guess what all these people had in common. At random, guests also started ringing their glasses with their silverware and yelling out baci baci! (kiss kiss!) Sometimes it's the bride and groom who had to kiss each other and sometimes it was their parents. The witnesses were also urged to kiss at one point but for those not being in a couple themselves, a kiss on the cheek was good enough.
After cake and fruit, coffee comes next—a shot of espresso to help our digestion and our level of sleepiness. That's when the crowd started to thin out. It's usually the oldest guests that go home first, followed by those of us with kids. Emanuele, my then 9-year-old, was pooped, so at 1:00 am we said goodbye, but the party was nowhere near done.
The wedding cake, a delicious chocolate hazelnut mousse
Image | Lisa Anderson
We learned the next day, when the groom’s family finally crawled out of bed around noon, that they got home at 5:00 am. while the kids were still wrapping things up with their friends.
Viva Gli Sposi!
